I haven't blogged in a while, and you will have to excuse me for that, because well going into this my intentions were good, but I'm just bad at this. So up to date on the Franklins.
- We love our Small group. Our friends are so fun :)
- Zane's Birthday was a success! I got him his presents and we had some people over for pizza coke and quelf! It was fun!!
- Alabama was fun! We spent a lot of money, mostly on food. EeEEEP! We saw as many people as we possibly could and it was wonderful. I was homesick for a little while after.
- I'm blonde (ish)
- Zane is close to being done with his first year of grad school!
- We are getting a kitten!!! We are deciding between the names Eloise ( my favorite I think) and Mollie!
- Tobias is doing good :) Snuggly as ever.
I've just been having some thoughts recently. Mostly in response to culture. Now I'm not here to throw my opinions in your face, be all political. It's just a thought.
As a Christian, I believe the world looks to us to see how we react to, um what's the word, stunning news. And as American christians we come up short about 95% of the time. I'm almost embarrassed to say that I love Jesus, because of the horrific responses to this Jay Collins news. SO WHAT? He's gay? Honestly, I believe Jesus would be disappointed with the responses from "christians". Who did Jesus hang out with? Thieves. Adulterers. The lowly. The unwanted. The unaccepted. Who did Jesus use? Thieves. Adulterers. MURDERERS. Who are you to judge people also labeled as this, or as society says. In modern days who do you think Jesus would hang out with? You know who I think? The lonely. The abortion doctor. The lawyer who's mission in life is to rid you of your money. He chose me when I was at my worst. Something I didn't deserve. "This is how we know love: Christ died for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:8.
Anywho. Speaking of Jesus. He's been so good to me lately.
Sorry it's all over the place. It's been a crazy week!
V
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
A Hunter Hays Kinda Thought
So I have not been a very good wife lately. As a married woman, who loves Jesus, I need to be better. I need to not get angry when there are dishes that need to be done, and I haven't seen Zane all day, and I've been working nonstop and I'm exhausted. Anywho, side note, when I don't have gas, I just take Zane's car, and I just listen to the radio instead of my iPod in Zane's car. Well I couldn't find anything on my 20 min car ride home so I just left it on the first station that had music. Well it was country. Bleh, but I wanted something to keep the silence from taking over.
It was a Hunter Hays song, Somebody's Heartbreak. There was a line that stuck out to me, and it completely changed my attitude towards my marriage. Well more like my frustrations. The line was "one minute with you is better than two minutes without you." Mind you, the rest of the song is trash, for real. But it resinated with me. 1 minute with Zane is absolutely worth it, more than the 2 minutes I am working or whatever. So my washing the dishes with Zane in the kitchen is now fun, because Zane is with me :). On top of that, I feel as if I am fulfilling my calling as a wife. Yay, for purpose!! Because 1 minute with Zane is better than 2 minutes without him. Goodness I love this man.
But now, thanks to the random snow in April(??????) Zane and I have had dinner and gotten to spend so much time watching a mediocre tv show. :)
Until next time,
Vivian
It was a Hunter Hays song, Somebody's Heartbreak. There was a line that stuck out to me, and it completely changed my attitude towards my marriage. Well more like my frustrations. The line was "one minute with you is better than two minutes without you." Mind you, the rest of the song is trash, for real. But it resinated with me. 1 minute with Zane is absolutely worth it, more than the 2 minutes I am working or whatever. So my washing the dishes with Zane in the kitchen is now fun, because Zane is with me :). On top of that, I feel as if I am fulfilling my calling as a wife. Yay, for purpose!! Because 1 minute with Zane is better than 2 minutes without him. Goodness I love this man.
But now, thanks to the random snow in April(??????) Zane and I have had dinner and gotten to spend so much time watching a mediocre tv show. :)
Until next time,
Vivian
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Easter thoughts and Wedding pictures :)
Hi all,
The Franklin's first Easter was one for the books. Definitely 10 years from now, we will be laughing at how we celebrated this. We went to church, so sweet, and then, wait for it, BUFFALO WILD WINGS. Haha, Easter lunch of champions. But the cool part was, we got to spend time with people who have become like family to us. It was special to celebrate Easter with our small group, having dinner and talking about Jesus the whole night. I mean Jesus is the Reason for Easter. Reflecting on his glorious day, which was not glorious for him at all.
I was just thinking about Jesus and how wonderful he was. He was and is the most selfless man, who took my burdens, my sin, my shame, just so that I could have the choice to know His Father. Wow I am so undeserving of a love like that. Then I think of calvary. The grace that Jesus gave ON THE CROSS astounds me. There are two criminals, who by all means of justice, DESERVED what was happening to them. And then in a moment of an experience with Christ, watching Him still give glory to the Father, and forgiving the people who put him on the cross undeservingly, a choice was made, in what I believe was humility. The criminal and looked to Jesus and said "Remember me when you enter your Kingdom." and Jesus, in all his wonderfulness and greatness replies, "Today, you will join me in PARADISE." I think that is just a wonderful expression of how He loves us and forgives us and desires to be with us. Jesus is experiencing the most horrific death, and turns to a man who is deserving of this death, and forgives him and offers him into paradise. I'm curious about what is going through this man's head, going through the guards head who are watching this exchange happen. What's going through Mary's head as she watches Jesus forgive a criminal the way he no longer condemned her after being caught in Adultery. He is CONSTANT. Wow, what a Savior. he is wonderful, and I am in awe of Him!!
Praise be to the Father, who forgives my sins. He loves me, but the cool this is he LIKES me. :) He is absolutely my best friend, lover of my soul, constant, everything.
In a completely different way, Here are a few of my favorite wedding pictures :)
The Franklin's first Easter was one for the books. Definitely 10 years from now, we will be laughing at how we celebrated this. We went to church, so sweet, and then, wait for it, BUFFALO WILD WINGS. Haha, Easter lunch of champions. But the cool part was, we got to spend time with people who have become like family to us. It was special to celebrate Easter with our small group, having dinner and talking about Jesus the whole night. I mean Jesus is the Reason for Easter. Reflecting on his glorious day, which was not glorious for him at all.
I was just thinking about Jesus and how wonderful he was. He was and is the most selfless man, who took my burdens, my sin, my shame, just so that I could have the choice to know His Father. Wow I am so undeserving of a love like that. Then I think of calvary. The grace that Jesus gave ON THE CROSS astounds me. There are two criminals, who by all means of justice, DESERVED what was happening to them. And then in a moment of an experience with Christ, watching Him still give glory to the Father, and forgiving the people who put him on the cross undeservingly, a choice was made, in what I believe was humility. The criminal and looked to Jesus and said "Remember me when you enter your Kingdom." and Jesus, in all his wonderfulness and greatness replies, "Today, you will join me in PARADISE." I think that is just a wonderful expression of how He loves us and forgives us and desires to be with us. Jesus is experiencing the most horrific death, and turns to a man who is deserving of this death, and forgives him and offers him into paradise. I'm curious about what is going through this man's head, going through the guards head who are watching this exchange happen. What's going through Mary's head as she watches Jesus forgive a criminal the way he no longer condemned her after being caught in Adultery. He is CONSTANT. Wow, what a Savior. he is wonderful, and I am in awe of Him!!
Praise be to the Father, who forgives my sins. He loves me, but the cool this is he LIKES me. :) He is absolutely my best friend, lover of my soul, constant, everything.
In a completely different way, Here are a few of my favorite wedding pictures :)
Maybe more later!
Love,
Vivian
Thursday, March 28, 2013
A Little Bit of Sunday and Wednesday
Hi everyone.
It's kinda been awhile and I realized I haven't updated anything lately. Mostly because nothing super crazy has happened. Well my sister in law told me to keep the updates coming! So this is for you, Jessi!
Wellllll , we are LOVING our small group. The couples have been so wonderful and inviting. Zane is currently out with all the guys//husbands at a movie and something else I guess. I'm making dinner for small group and watching Bones.
Last week was Zane's Spring Break, which means all of Tech had spring break as well which means I worked way overtime last week. It was a double catch, I was very thankful to work more hours but working more when Zane was at home was frustrating. It's sometimes hard to find little moments to spend time with him, but when we find them, boy do we grab hold of them!!
Kitty T is sitting in my lap while I write this.
We met with the pastor of the church we decided to call home here. It was so interesting. First I thought it was interesting that he would meet with someone new. He was nice. The most interesting part to me was seeing the international need Blacksburg has. He was saying that there is a huge women//wives of the the international students. Hello right up my alley. It got me really excited. They also do this thing where in the summer they gather up as much furniture and stock it in a basement of the BCM, and then on one day all the international students come and claim FREE furniture and they deliver it to their apartments and move it in. Zane was all enthused about that. Then later that night, the students come back for an "American" meal. Zane was saying that he really wanted to do that.
I should let everyone know that I am finishing this like 3 days after I started. I am such a procrastinator. We also went to a bonfire with our small group friends the weekend of Tech's break. It is so nice to be invited to places. :) Other than that, not much has gone on.
Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever. I keep reminding myself that and also "Love people, hate the devil." I think it's hard for this society to really fully do that and keep in mind that our enemy is NOT people, but the devil. Also I love America and freedom of speech, so here's my tidbit. When did Facebook become so Political. It's stupid. Also people are set in their ways. A Facebook photo is not going to change the minds of the ultra conservatives or ultra liberals, it mostly just pisses people off and makes them angry and fights break out, and if you are posting them then you are contributing to that. But then again I think, I like posting my bible verses, and I hope it encourages someone, but some of my friends who don't like Jesus at all could be offended by that. I'm not going to stop posting something that is encouraging or blows my mind in a godly fashion. Here's another thought, if you don't like what someone is posting, stop following them, or unsubscribe or whatever it is from Facebook. I'm not trying to be a bossy pants right now, but if you're really that offended, just protect yourself from angry and judgement and stop following them. Who cares if your Friend count goes down. This is getting extremely political for me. So sorry. But it's relevant.
I've been thinking about future stuff:
1) why won't people stop asking me if we are having a family anytime soon. we're not. We've been married almost 3 months. Just. STOP.
2) I am thinking about college again mostly because my degree is hard to find something in and I realized I was so far into it, that it would have taken me longer to graduate if I had to start all the way over.
Here's what I am thinking:
- Nursing
or
-Social Work
They both are exciting and I could interact with people and serve them and love them! Social work could go along with adoption and helping with Human traffiking. Of course I can't do it now, because 2 married people in school would be difficult especially if we aren't permanent anywhere quite yet. I'm in no rush.
WE ARE COMING TO ALABAMA!!!!
The weekend of April 19-21. We plan to make it down to BHAM late Thursday night and do BHAM all day Friday. Then drive to Dothan Friday night and spend time in Dothan until Saturday, and then maybe Saturday night drive to Auburn and then go to church on Sunday before driving home. We want to see as many people as possible. I'm excited to see all my friends. and family!
Um it's been snowing. Sunday/Monday we got about 5 inches. Everyone here is sick of it, but I LOVE IT!
I'm trying to think of anything else. Nope ;)
I promise I will try to be better. PROMISE.
Peace n Blessings.
Vivian
It's kinda been awhile and I realized I haven't updated anything lately. Mostly because nothing super crazy has happened. Well my sister in law told me to keep the updates coming! So this is for you, Jessi!
Wellllll , we are LOVING our small group. The couples have been so wonderful and inviting. Zane is currently out with all the guys//husbands at a movie and something else I guess. I'm making dinner for small group and watching Bones.
Last week was Zane's Spring Break, which means all of Tech had spring break as well which means I worked way overtime last week. It was a double catch, I was very thankful to work more hours but working more when Zane was at home was frustrating. It's sometimes hard to find little moments to spend time with him, but when we find them, boy do we grab hold of them!!
Kitty T is sitting in my lap while I write this.
We met with the pastor of the church we decided to call home here. It was so interesting. First I thought it was interesting that he would meet with someone new. He was nice. The most interesting part to me was seeing the international need Blacksburg has. He was saying that there is a huge women//wives of the the international students. Hello right up my alley. It got me really excited. They also do this thing where in the summer they gather up as much furniture and stock it in a basement of the BCM, and then on one day all the international students come and claim FREE furniture and they deliver it to their apartments and move it in. Zane was all enthused about that. Then later that night, the students come back for an "American" meal. Zane was saying that he really wanted to do that.
I should let everyone know that I am finishing this like 3 days after I started. I am such a procrastinator. We also went to a bonfire with our small group friends the weekend of Tech's break. It is so nice to be invited to places. :) Other than that, not much has gone on.
Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever. I keep reminding myself that and also "Love people, hate the devil." I think it's hard for this society to really fully do that and keep in mind that our enemy is NOT people, but the devil. Also I love America and freedom of speech, so here's my tidbit. When did Facebook become so Political. It's stupid. Also people are set in their ways. A Facebook photo is not going to change the minds of the ultra conservatives or ultra liberals, it mostly just pisses people off and makes them angry and fights break out, and if you are posting them then you are contributing to that. But then again I think, I like posting my bible verses, and I hope it encourages someone, but some of my friends who don't like Jesus at all could be offended by that. I'm not going to stop posting something that is encouraging or blows my mind in a godly fashion. Here's another thought, if you don't like what someone is posting, stop following them, or unsubscribe or whatever it is from Facebook. I'm not trying to be a bossy pants right now, but if you're really that offended, just protect yourself from angry and judgement and stop following them. Who cares if your Friend count goes down. This is getting extremely political for me. So sorry. But it's relevant.
I've been thinking about future stuff:
1) why won't people stop asking me if we are having a family anytime soon. we're not. We've been married almost 3 months. Just. STOP.
2) I am thinking about college again mostly because my degree is hard to find something in and I realized I was so far into it, that it would have taken me longer to graduate if I had to start all the way over.
Here's what I am thinking:
- Nursing
or
-Social Work
They both are exciting and I could interact with people and serve them and love them! Social work could go along with adoption and helping with Human traffiking. Of course I can't do it now, because 2 married people in school would be difficult especially if we aren't permanent anywhere quite yet. I'm in no rush.
WE ARE COMING TO ALABAMA!!!!
The weekend of April 19-21. We plan to make it down to BHAM late Thursday night and do BHAM all day Friday. Then drive to Dothan Friday night and spend time in Dothan until Saturday, and then maybe Saturday night drive to Auburn and then go to church on Sunday before driving home. We want to see as many people as possible. I'm excited to see all my friends. and family!
Um it's been snowing. Sunday/Monday we got about 5 inches. Everyone here is sick of it, but I LOVE IT!
I'm trying to think of anything else. Nope ;)
I promise I will try to be better. PROMISE.
Peace n Blessings.
Vivian
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Long Time Coming
This post has been a long time coming. Can I clear something up?? I AM NOT SAD. I love Virginia, I love my job, I am happy here. Would you like an update? Because that is what this post is about.
I love my job. I have the best classes. The moms of some of the girls I teach are wonderful, I feel like they are my buddies! Yay buddies :) One of the moms said that they were all rallying behind me to make me feel as comfortable as possible! What great women! I should make them cookies or something.
We are liking our small group more and more every week. They are a great group of couples :).
I have been deathly ill this week. Zane was wonderful and took care of me :). I'm back on my feet, working, and should start cleaning.
My apartment has gone to the DAWGS from being sick. Zane has been a super hero in the Engineering department. He's being crazy awesome and wonderfully smart :) I love him! I thought about taking a picture of my kitchen for you guys, buttttttttt I'd hate for that to make the internet.
Our wedding pictures came in! It's been fun! I can't wait to start printing them out and putting them up!! I did get a cd of the pictures stuck in my computer, but Batman complete dissembled and reassembled my computer. CAN YOU SAY HOTTTTT?
What else? Not much. Tobias finally likes me, I think. One only knows a little with cats.. Meow.. I'm feeling crafty and want to dye my hair so I'll end this short post. Sorry it's not long, and not informative. Not much crazyness has happenend, but I am happy :) I'm loving life.
Until something dramatic happens or a completely deep thought occurs ;),
V
I love my job. I have the best classes. The moms of some of the girls I teach are wonderful, I feel like they are my buddies! Yay buddies :) One of the moms said that they were all rallying behind me to make me feel as comfortable as possible! What great women! I should make them cookies or something.
We are liking our small group more and more every week. They are a great group of couples :).
I have been deathly ill this week. Zane was wonderful and took care of me :). I'm back on my feet, working, and should start cleaning.
My apartment has gone to the DAWGS from being sick. Zane has been a super hero in the Engineering department. He's being crazy awesome and wonderfully smart :) I love him! I thought about taking a picture of my kitchen for you guys, buttttttttt I'd hate for that to make the internet.
Our wedding pictures came in! It's been fun! I can't wait to start printing them out and putting them up!! I did get a cd of the pictures stuck in my computer, but Batman complete dissembled and reassembled my computer. CAN YOU SAY HOTTTTT?
What else? Not much. Tobias finally likes me, I think. One only knows a little with cats.. Meow.. I'm feeling crafty and want to dye my hair so I'll end this short post. Sorry it's not long, and not informative. Not much crazyness has happenend, but I am happy :) I'm loving life.
Until something dramatic happens or a completely deep thought occurs ;),
V
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Update: Heaven
Hello All,
I feel like maybe I should clear some things up. I think that maybe I gave off the wrong idea. Yes marriage is hard. Yes it's difficult being here where we know no one and have no community. But doesn't that make what Abba is trying to teach us so much sweeter. It is pure and straight from Him because He is literally our only Source right now. It's humbling and beautiful.
I'm having this epiphany sitting in my kitchen floor, crying, listening to worship music (wait for it) in German. I know it's my major, but a lot of what is said in German in the context of Christianity is difficult, and definitely for people who know the language personally and not have just learned it from school. Granted I know a good amount of German and I pride myself in that, but there is something so humbling and wonderful of not completely understanding all the words and just feeling the warmth and love of the Holy Spirit wash over me.
Then it got me thinking about something wonderful: Heaven.
What a glorious place it will be. Goodness I'm so excited!! Being still fresh from the wedding and thinking about that special day with my Batman only excites me more about the more fabulous Wedding that will take place. I'm thinking back to my whole relationship with Z and the engagement was the WORST. The waiting and planning and waiting and waiting and waiting, hoping that the day would HOPEFULLY arrive. It was stressful, anxious, tearful, and downright miserable (sorry to all the brides to be's out there). What I think was the worst for me, was that for majority of our engagement, I was away from Zane, physically. It was terrible. There were days that I just needed a hug from my best friend, and welp he's halfway across the planet, or 8 hours away. I'm not sure which one was worse: the 7 hour time difference and being separated by a whole ocean and then some countries, or the fact he was a mere 8 hours away, and I could make the drive, but it would be dumb, financially, and physically just because of our schedules...
That's beside the point: rabbit trail. Welcome to my life.....
Anyways, I think that's what this side of heaven is like. The engagement. During the engagement, I didn't think I could love Zane anymore than I did, but alas as we are now married and I love him more everyday. This excites me even more for Heaven, because I think on this side of heaven, I love Jesus a lot. It grows with everyday. But in Heaven when I am with my BrideGroom then holy moly, there will be a love like no other. I think this love on earth I feel for my Savior is a mere fraction of the amount of love and desire that will take place in Heaven. I can't wait for it!
Which Heaven makes me think of something wonderful. I cried while I was washing dishes listening to Hillsong Deutsch, and I felt something I have only ever felt two other times, which is why I know Abba is sitting next to me in the kitchen right now. I'm singing what I know in German, and what I don't know I sing in English. It's overwhelming me to the point of holy tears. Goodness I love the beauty of foreign languages. I love how raw they are, how exposed they are and how they expose you. I love that one day, I will be singing my little heart out in Heaven, with someone who speaks Hebrew, some one who speaks Chinese, someone who speaks Spanish, some one who speaks German, you get the picture, and it is going to the be the most beautiful sound in all of creation. I'm honored Daddy wants me to be a part of it.
The two other times I have felt the Holy Spirit in a holy moment like this is when I was in a church service in Mexico. I have a beautiful mexican family on my left, and my English speaking group on my right. The church played a song in Spanish that we also knew in English. I was trying to sing in Spanish, when I felt like I just needed to stop and listen. It's amazing what can happen to a person, when they stop whatever they are doing and just listening to the still small voice. I'm listening to this family sing the song in Spanish and my group sing it in English. It knocked me to my knees. I saw a glimpse of what Heaven will be like. And buddy, it's going to be like that forever!! Three of my absolute favorite things : Jesus, worship, languages.
The second time was at Passion. Imagine 44,000 college students gathering together to worship. A chinese woman boldly coming to the stage and praying for us in Chinese(I'm crying thinking about my beloved China), then after that Chris Tomlin comes to the stage and 5 other people from different countries come out and they all sing a song each chiming in with a verse in their own language. I'm on my knees again. Worshiping the beautiful Savior who is not bound by languages. He understands every language. I think back to that moment and it's a little more special because Zane was there. He and one of my greatest friends and then Zane's best friend were all there. All four of us came together and prayed for the nations. That's a humbling experience and can probably rank as a top 10 favorite memory. I didn't care I was snotting all over the place and coughing from not breathing, I wouldn't have wanted to share that moment with anyone else.
If you know me, you know my face is probably raw now from thinking and talking about China and Jesus and whatever. Yay. It's been good because Daddy is sitting on the kitchen floor with me. He knows my heart. He knows what I am thinking and feeling. It's been special.
I was reading in The Circle Maker this week. It's amazing I haven't finished this book yet, but that's besides the point. Mark Batterson said something crazy, that made me think. I can't find it in the book, but he was saying something along the lines of prayer isn't just words. It's how you honor the Lord. It's actions. I think sometimes I feel so bad that I am not actually talking to Jesus about something.
But thinking about worshiping Jesus. Sitting on my kitchen floor singing along as best I can with my Deutsch worship album. Crying over how great He is and has been. Crying that He showed up and loved me in a way that brought holy tears. Thinking about China and describing wonderful things He has done. I may not have even said anything about the country of China but I talked about it at work and since then it's been on my heart all week. I think this honors God, and has drawn me to Him in a new way. I'm not denying the other way, because prayer is important, and kind of awesome. But sometimes it's one-sided. It's been nice to just sit and relax in the Holy Presence. It reminds me of an Old Testament story.
I'm not sure if you remember from an earlier post, but I am and Old Testament Junkie. I love the history. I love the stories and how there is SO much to learn from them. Anyways there is a story in 1st Kings 19:9
Let me set it up. Elijah a very famous prophet has run away. I'm rusty on the details, but he was afraid, and ran for his life. He ends up in a cave on the side of the mountain, and an Word of the Lord came to him. (Hope you don't mind if I do a few bible verses, I don't want to take away the powerfulness that is of this verse... ps it's kinda long, but absolutely worth it.)
10. He (Elijah) said "I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your alters and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."
11. So He (God) said, "Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord." And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12. After the earthquake, a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of gentle blowing. 13. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, a voice came to him and said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
- Elijah gives his spiel and then you know what, in this holy moment, God tells Elijah what is next. Where he should go.
I don't think we need a sermon for those verses. They are clear. Very clear to me. Maybe it's because I feel like Elijah. But I know the Word of God is with me, and then in the right moment God shows up and shows off. I'm not worried about where Zane and I are churching or who will be our best friends while we are here. What I do know, is that it's the gentle blowing, the still, and quiet that Daddy tells us what He want's us to hear. It would make sense if there was an earthquake and the booming thundering voice of the God Almighty came and told us the decision. I think we need to wait those out and wait for the right moment, listening, not talking, but definitely expecting. And expecting the unexpected because that is to be expected of Jesus, to be unexpected. He's faithful in that. And He remains faithful in showing up. Ask Elijah, Moses, Peter, John, Paul, anyone who has known Jesus for more than a year. He is faithful. I don't doubt him :).
If you stayed through this, thank you for going on this emotional Jesus filled journey with me. It's so nice to share it with you.
Love you all,
Belle
I feel like maybe I should clear some things up. I think that maybe I gave off the wrong idea. Yes marriage is hard. Yes it's difficult being here where we know no one and have no community. But doesn't that make what Abba is trying to teach us so much sweeter. It is pure and straight from Him because He is literally our only Source right now. It's humbling and beautiful.
I'm having this epiphany sitting in my kitchen floor, crying, listening to worship music (wait for it) in German. I know it's my major, but a lot of what is said in German in the context of Christianity is difficult, and definitely for people who know the language personally and not have just learned it from school. Granted I know a good amount of German and I pride myself in that, but there is something so humbling and wonderful of not completely understanding all the words and just feeling the warmth and love of the Holy Spirit wash over me.
Then it got me thinking about something wonderful: Heaven.
What a glorious place it will be. Goodness I'm so excited!! Being still fresh from the wedding and thinking about that special day with my Batman only excites me more about the more fabulous Wedding that will take place. I'm thinking back to my whole relationship with Z and the engagement was the WORST. The waiting and planning and waiting and waiting and waiting, hoping that the day would HOPEFULLY arrive. It was stressful, anxious, tearful, and downright miserable (sorry to all the brides to be's out there). What I think was the worst for me, was that for majority of our engagement, I was away from Zane, physically. It was terrible. There were days that I just needed a hug from my best friend, and welp he's halfway across the planet, or 8 hours away. I'm not sure which one was worse: the 7 hour time difference and being separated by a whole ocean and then some countries, or the fact he was a mere 8 hours away, and I could make the drive, but it would be dumb, financially, and physically just because of our schedules...
That's beside the point: rabbit trail. Welcome to my life.....
Anyways, I think that's what this side of heaven is like. The engagement. During the engagement, I didn't think I could love Zane anymore than I did, but alas as we are now married and I love him more everyday. This excites me even more for Heaven, because I think on this side of heaven, I love Jesus a lot. It grows with everyday. But in Heaven when I am with my BrideGroom then holy moly, there will be a love like no other. I think this love on earth I feel for my Savior is a mere fraction of the amount of love and desire that will take place in Heaven. I can't wait for it!
Which Heaven makes me think of something wonderful. I cried while I was washing dishes listening to Hillsong Deutsch, and I felt something I have only ever felt two other times, which is why I know Abba is sitting next to me in the kitchen right now. I'm singing what I know in German, and what I don't know I sing in English. It's overwhelming me to the point of holy tears. Goodness I love the beauty of foreign languages. I love how raw they are, how exposed they are and how they expose you. I love that one day, I will be singing my little heart out in Heaven, with someone who speaks Hebrew, some one who speaks Chinese, someone who speaks Spanish, some one who speaks German, you get the picture, and it is going to the be the most beautiful sound in all of creation. I'm honored Daddy wants me to be a part of it.
The two other times I have felt the Holy Spirit in a holy moment like this is when I was in a church service in Mexico. I have a beautiful mexican family on my left, and my English speaking group on my right. The church played a song in Spanish that we also knew in English. I was trying to sing in Spanish, when I felt like I just needed to stop and listen. It's amazing what can happen to a person, when they stop whatever they are doing and just listening to the still small voice. I'm listening to this family sing the song in Spanish and my group sing it in English. It knocked me to my knees. I saw a glimpse of what Heaven will be like. And buddy, it's going to be like that forever!! Three of my absolute favorite things : Jesus, worship, languages.
The second time was at Passion. Imagine 44,000 college students gathering together to worship. A chinese woman boldly coming to the stage and praying for us in Chinese(I'm crying thinking about my beloved China), then after that Chris Tomlin comes to the stage and 5 other people from different countries come out and they all sing a song each chiming in with a verse in their own language. I'm on my knees again. Worshiping the beautiful Savior who is not bound by languages. He understands every language. I think back to that moment and it's a little more special because Zane was there. He and one of my greatest friends and then Zane's best friend were all there. All four of us came together and prayed for the nations. That's a humbling experience and can probably rank as a top 10 favorite memory. I didn't care I was snotting all over the place and coughing from not breathing, I wouldn't have wanted to share that moment with anyone else.
If you know me, you know my face is probably raw now from thinking and talking about China and Jesus and whatever. Yay. It's been good because Daddy is sitting on the kitchen floor with me. He knows my heart. He knows what I am thinking and feeling. It's been special.
I was reading in The Circle Maker this week. It's amazing I haven't finished this book yet, but that's besides the point. Mark Batterson said something crazy, that made me think. I can't find it in the book, but he was saying something along the lines of prayer isn't just words. It's how you honor the Lord. It's actions. I think sometimes I feel so bad that I am not actually talking to Jesus about something.
But thinking about worshiping Jesus. Sitting on my kitchen floor singing along as best I can with my Deutsch worship album. Crying over how great He is and has been. Crying that He showed up and loved me in a way that brought holy tears. Thinking about China and describing wonderful things He has done. I may not have even said anything about the country of China but I talked about it at work and since then it's been on my heart all week. I think this honors God, and has drawn me to Him in a new way. I'm not denying the other way, because prayer is important, and kind of awesome. But sometimes it's one-sided. It's been nice to just sit and relax in the Holy Presence. It reminds me of an Old Testament story.
I'm not sure if you remember from an earlier post, but I am and Old Testament Junkie. I love the history. I love the stories and how there is SO much to learn from them. Anyways there is a story in 1st Kings 19:9
Let me set it up. Elijah a very famous prophet has run away. I'm rusty on the details, but he was afraid, and ran for his life. He ends up in a cave on the side of the mountain, and an Word of the Lord came to him. (Hope you don't mind if I do a few bible verses, I don't want to take away the powerfulness that is of this verse... ps it's kinda long, but absolutely worth it.)
10. He (Elijah) said "I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your alters and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."
11. So He (God) said, "Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord." And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12. After the earthquake, a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of gentle blowing. 13. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, a voice came to him and said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
- Elijah gives his spiel and then you know what, in this holy moment, God tells Elijah what is next. Where he should go.
I don't think we need a sermon for those verses. They are clear. Very clear to me. Maybe it's because I feel like Elijah. But I know the Word of God is with me, and then in the right moment God shows up and shows off. I'm not worried about where Zane and I are churching or who will be our best friends while we are here. What I do know, is that it's the gentle blowing, the still, and quiet that Daddy tells us what He want's us to hear. It would make sense if there was an earthquake and the booming thundering voice of the God Almighty came and told us the decision. I think we need to wait those out and wait for the right moment, listening, not talking, but definitely expecting. And expecting the unexpected because that is to be expected of Jesus, to be unexpected. He's faithful in that. And He remains faithful in showing up. Ask Elijah, Moses, Peter, John, Paul, anyone who has known Jesus for more than a year. He is faithful. I don't doubt him :).
If you stayed through this, thank you for going on this emotional Jesus filled journey with me. It's so nice to share it with you.
Love you all,
Belle
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Clever Title Later
Hello All,
Sorry I have been MIA for the past week or so. After my last post, I didn't have anything super harsh or whatever to share. Life in the Franklin household has been swell... I can give you a quick recap.
Last Friday - Officially Vivian Franklin.. boo yah. A nice little day trip with the husband to Roanoke. I like that city. It's the cutest smallest "Large" city I've ever seen ;).
Last Saturday - Went to Pier One and spent our gift card. If you have seen a picture/instagram of a cat mug, that's our greatest find. Zane loves that thing. Seriously. He says it's the greatest thing we have in our house. He's a cat man.
Sunday - Tried Northstar, and it was better this week. Not sure if it is home yet. Then we went to a Superbowl party at a coworker's house. ( My coworker) :) Yay Friends!
This past week - we both worked our little tushies off. Made dinner every single night. Oh and did I mention my nose has been leaking like a faucet. Ugh. Why can't I get better?
We also went to a basketball game Thursday night and this afternoon. Loving it!! Even though Virginia Tech got its butt kicked.
What we are missing out on:
The Dream Team Party
Ignite
Opening of Highlands AU
Family and Friends.
Not to be a downer but that's what happens when you move to a completely new city/state, where you know absolutely noone. It's fun and hard all at the same time. Add in being Newlyweds, and sometimes you get emotional. That pretty much describes my week, and I'm sure Zane will attest. I cried a lot this week. Mostly because I'm not used to this whole marriage thing. I mean we've been married a month so shouldn't we be pros at this now. Just kidding.
But I was super discouraged this week. I had about two breakdowns at work, talking to my coworker who is married and has two awesome kids. Here was my thought, I just did 50 dishes (we don't have a dishwater) and I basically blink and there are 50 more dishes to be washed. On top of that I work late, so Zane cooks dinner and I feel like that should be my job. I get so excited about these awesome recipes I find then I don't get to cook them because I am working. And the apartment never seems to stay clean. There just seems to always be something else to do. It overwhelmed me a bit. But then I got extremely thankful. Zane likes cooking for me. He's not the one that's upset when I come home from 10hours of work and it's 8 pm and I'm exhausted and quite frankly, don't want to pick up a thing.
Let's be real.. I have taken a while to post this. I've had a lot on my mind. Okay I got back on track so that I can finish this thing....
I can't think of a better day with Zane. We swapped Valentine's Day gifts. He got me Calm My Anxious Heart. I cried :) And he got me a sweet book. And a lunch box!! hehe :) Just a lazy day. It's been nice. Still so much to do. so much laundry. always so many dishes. It's okay.
I realize how easy I had it in Birmingham. I took everything about my life in Alabama for granted. So there is that. But I know I am here for a reason. A mom came up to me this week and thanked me for bringing her daughters confidence back. She said "My daughter is herself again, now that you have been working with her." Wow. It was amazing. I went to bed confident that Zane and I are where we are supposed to be. Just one thing can set everything back in motion.
I don't even know how to end this. Nothing profound. Nothing crazy. Just plain and simple, this is where we are supposed to be.
Thanks Daddy for making it clear :)
Love you guys,
V
Sorry I have been MIA for the past week or so. After my last post, I didn't have anything super harsh or whatever to share. Life in the Franklin household has been swell... I can give you a quick recap.
Last Friday - Officially Vivian Franklin.. boo yah. A nice little day trip with the husband to Roanoke. I like that city. It's the cutest smallest "Large" city I've ever seen ;).
Last Saturday - Went to Pier One and spent our gift card. If you have seen a picture/instagram of a cat mug, that's our greatest find. Zane loves that thing. Seriously. He says it's the greatest thing we have in our house. He's a cat man.
Sunday - Tried Northstar, and it was better this week. Not sure if it is home yet. Then we went to a Superbowl party at a coworker's house. ( My coworker) :) Yay Friends!
This past week - we both worked our little tushies off. Made dinner every single night. Oh and did I mention my nose has been leaking like a faucet. Ugh. Why can't I get better?
We also went to a basketball game Thursday night and this afternoon. Loving it!! Even though Virginia Tech got its butt kicked.
What we are missing out on:
The Dream Team Party
Ignite
Opening of Highlands AU
Family and Friends.
Not to be a downer but that's what happens when you move to a completely new city/state, where you know absolutely noone. It's fun and hard all at the same time. Add in being Newlyweds, and sometimes you get emotional. That pretty much describes my week, and I'm sure Zane will attest. I cried a lot this week. Mostly because I'm not used to this whole marriage thing. I mean we've been married a month so shouldn't we be pros at this now. Just kidding.
But I was super discouraged this week. I had about two breakdowns at work, talking to my coworker who is married and has two awesome kids. Here was my thought, I just did 50 dishes (we don't have a dishwater) and I basically blink and there are 50 more dishes to be washed. On top of that I work late, so Zane cooks dinner and I feel like that should be my job. I get so excited about these awesome recipes I find then I don't get to cook them because I am working. And the apartment never seems to stay clean. There just seems to always be something else to do. It overwhelmed me a bit. But then I got extremely thankful. Zane likes cooking for me. He's not the one that's upset when I come home from 10hours of work and it's 8 pm and I'm exhausted and quite frankly, don't want to pick up a thing.
Let's be real.. I have taken a while to post this. I've had a lot on my mind. Okay I got back on track so that I can finish this thing....
I can't think of a better day with Zane. We swapped Valentine's Day gifts. He got me Calm My Anxious Heart. I cried :) And he got me a sweet book. And a lunch box!! hehe :) Just a lazy day. It's been nice. Still so much to do. so much laundry. always so many dishes. It's okay.
I realize how easy I had it in Birmingham. I took everything about my life in Alabama for granted. So there is that. But I know I am here for a reason. A mom came up to me this week and thanked me for bringing her daughters confidence back. She said "My daughter is herself again, now that you have been working with her." Wow. It was amazing. I went to bed confident that Zane and I are where we are supposed to be. Just one thing can set everything back in motion.
I don't even know how to end this. Nothing profound. Nothing crazy. Just plain and simple, this is where we are supposed to be.
Thanks Daddy for making it clear :)
Love you guys,
V
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