I am not a Duck

I'm pretty frustrated at society.

You see, I am the type of person who wears her heart on her sleeve. My feelings get hurt when people say mean or horrible things about me to my face(or even behind my back and then someone tells me what they say), or if they do something mean to me, directly or indirectly.  Now, my heart on my sleeve can also be a good thing. It allows me to have compassion and joy and every other emotion in every circumstances and I love it! So when someone says or does something negatively to me, it hurts. I mean HURTS. It doesn't have to be anything even serious, by I still am almost always succumbed to tears.

And what makes me frustrated at society is that I am told to "let it roll off my back like a duck", "take it with a grain of salt", or "brush it off". Like it's that easy. I hate the phrases. I know they mean to not give credit to the things that are happening, but hear me out.

-"Be like a duck, let it roll off your back" This could be great advice, except it's not. A duck doesn't get into water and stay dry the whole time. The water starts to roll of it's back when it's already wet. Therefore, this saying states that after you've been "wet" for a bit (be it negative words or actions towards you), you have already been immersed in it. The next drop of water just rolls off your back because you are already wet. I think it's stupid advice. "Don't let what that person say bother you, because you've already been immersed and told these things." This is just saying that of course it's going to roll off your back because you already believe it about yourself.

-"Take it with a grain of salt". I don't understand this phrasing either. I also think it's stupid. When something wounds me and I "take it with a grain of salt" it's just saying here is a piece of salt to rub in your wound. Well that's ridiculous. Have you ever had salt put into a fresh wound. That HURTS.

-"brush it off" Have you ever seen a little kid fall down and the adult there says "brush it off? You're okay!" Well that's great, but what do you get when the dirt is brush away, a scrape mostly. You can brush off the dirt, but underneath there is still a wound.

I hate these phrases, basically it's your job to not let words get you down. It's almost impossible to let that happen. The seed is already there. Why can't it be the job of people to not be mean or say hurtful things? It's ridiculous. The Bible says that "the tongue has the power of life and death." (proverbs 18:21). So, of course, when someone says something completely negative to or about you, it feels like death.

People are going to say/do hurtful things, that's inevitable. But instead of doing something passive like just taking it or letting it go, I say we fight back. The tongue has the power of LIFE! We should counteract these negative things with words of life and words of truth. There are many things in the Bible that lift you up. There are wounds with the negativity but spoken truth, and life words are like ointment that heals. Sometimes it's difficult to apply it to myself. Sometimes I need someone else who believes in me to say something encouraging or uplifting. I think that's okay, too.

So, next time I (or maybe anyone) say, "This/that hurt me" or something along those lines, please don't tell me to "brush it off" or "be like a duck". Those phrases do not help. They make me feel useless and weak and even more down because I can't just turn off my emotions to a negative attack. Instead say something along the lines of "I'm sorry that happened, but do you know what the Lord says about you? (Insert one or all the beautiful and true things the Lord says about his beloved here)." Those words soothe and calm and heal.