I Married Up

Hello World,

We had a fantastic week away. It was so nice and so relaxing to get to see parents and siblings and friends. Mostly I loved spending constant amount of time with my husband. I work anywhere between 7 and 10 hours a day, on average, so I don't see him very much during the week.

We didn't get many pictures but we got a whole lot of sunburn :) on our vacation. It was really good but I'm glad to be back in the Burg.

Whilst away, I had many a conversations with Zane and had many pondering thoughts myself. That's where this blog comes in.

Before I get to going I need to disclaimer: the title may be deceiving. I am in no way bashing my upbringing/family/and/or self. I love my family and I am the most confident I have ever been in my entire life right now. I am confident in my appearance. I am confident in my walk with Christ. I am confident in my marriage (well as much as I can be for 7 months. I know I have so much more to learn and do :) ). So that being said let's get started.


As I said before, the title may be deceiving. In this way I think the word "Married" is what going to trip someone up. The blog has NOTHING and EVERYTHING to do with marriage. It is a topic that has been heavily on my heart. It is something I struggle with. It is something I see and admire in Zane because when he does this he looks like Jesus. What is this topic, you say? SelfLESSness

Whoo wee, that's a strong topic. Selflessness. What does that even mean? Well if you look it up in the dictionary, it basically states that you have no concern for your own interests. I think this is interesting but I think there is something else. When I think of a selfless person, I think of someone who would go out of their way to do something for somebody, and not complain about it. I think it is someone who believes in peoples dreams and wants to do everything in their power to help them accomplish them. I think it is someone who puts their thoughts and ideas aside so that some one else can have their dreams. It is someone who willingly comes in 2nd. I definitely don't think it means you have no concern for your own interest, I think it just means that Your concern is that Other people receive whatever they are interested in.

Marriage is the place where you must be selfless. Selfishness destroys a marriage and selflessness prospers in a marriage. Two selfish people think only of themselves and how their spouse can benefit them. Two selfless people in a marriage think only of their spouses and how their own actions affect their spouse. It's quite beautiful. Now when I say I married up, I married up. Zane is the most selfless person I know. I can't even begin to count the ways. And mostly I come up short, which leads me to wonder, how can a person be selfless.

Zane is wonderful and selflessness comes so naturally (it seems) to him. I need to WORK to be selfless, which is not selfless(I think).

So any ideas?? The most obvious one is fall more in love with Jesus. When you fall in love with Jesus, his desires become your desires. Jesus, who was the most selfless man EVER, leads us into a life that looks like HIS when we fall more in love with him.

Which is why we(I) will always marry up. Jesus is the ULTIMATE MARRYING UP MAN. No one can compete with him. How glorious that day, being the bride of Christ.

Until that day, I need to work at selflessness. Putting aside my desires and putting the desires of those around me above my own. Especially Zane's.

Ephesians 5 says


²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Like I said, I need a lot of work. Zane has got his part down.

Not sure this quite got all my thoughts out. It's a weird thought process and I may have forgotten some things. I rest in the fact knowing that I'm still growing. I don't want to be selfish, and my desire is to be selfless, but like all things in life, you have to work hard at it. I think the more you work at it, the easier it becomes and the more likely it becomes who you are. You become selfless. Focusing on Jesus, falling in love with him, becoming more like him. Then you become selfless.