This past weekend, one of my dearest friends came to visit me. She is the kind of friend that we can talk about anything and everything, and then it always gets brought back to Jesus. That is the kind of friend you should have in your life. Anyway, we were riding along in the car talking about life, when the subject of "Spiritual Leadership" came up. I got so fired up about the subject, that she asked me to write this blog post.
For the longest time, I bought into the idea that spiritual leadership had to look a certain way, especially when it came to my marriage. I would see these men, who were leaders in the church, and I expected that to be how my marriage looked. These were the men, who spoke on stage, lead many groups, pretty much over all aspects. When you watched they way they lead their families, you could see how they family functioned. Often times, I expected that they would pray together every day, read the Bible together, they do all of these "spiritual" things together and it was the man who started that.
That is not how my marriage works.
I was extremely discouraged for a bit, but that was before I realized that there is more than one way to lead your wife spiritually.
The church often says, "You need to be the man in the house. You need to lead your wife. ETC." but I feel they've fallen short on saying how you can do that, or encouraging men in the way they are already made to lead. And as a woman, I heard that, and only ever saw men leading in the one specific way. Jesus, in all His goodness, softened my heart and opened my eyes.
Zane is the exact spiritual leader this family needs.
The longer I am married to him, the more I realize how much he looks like Jesus, and wasn't Jesus the Ultimate leader? I would rather have my husband look like Jesus as a leader than what I expect a leader to look like formed from my own opinions.
He is a quiet man, but a strong man. He is wise, he is funny. He serves like no one I have ever met, and he doesn't do it for recognition, he does it because he truly cares for these people. I don't think people realize how much he actually does. He leads in the way he walks into whatever room I am in and say "Listen to how sarcastic Jesus is" and then proceeds to read a part of scripture he just encountered and saw Jesus as the human he was. He also leads in the way of getting up and going to work everyday. He provides for our tiny family. He leads in showing me grace and forgiveness. Like when I accidentally burn something or forget to call somebody or don't buy something he needs. He just wraps his arms around me and gives me unconditional grace. He is a leader by sending me a text that says, "I am proud of your tv career". It seems silly, but me doing something small like that is important to me, and he recognizes it and breathes encouragement into it. It's him seeing my strengths and encouraging me in them. It's him noticing that the trash needs to be taken out and so he does it. It's him hugging me when I have a bad day. It's him texting me saying, "just prayed for you." It's him texting me a simple "I love you."
We don't have specific times where we sit and pray together. And sometimes we might read the Bible together, but it's never out loud. We are both just hanging out with Jesus but in our own ways. We tried to do it like how I expected it to look and it was forced and really awkward. But now that I recognize that Zane leads the way that the Lord intended for him to lead and how the Lord leads, our marriage has flourished.
Jesus did pray, and he did preach, and he did have those moments. And they are good moments. But Jesus also looked at Peter and encouraged him to step out of the boat and to do something terrifying. Jesus looked at Peter and said, "I'm building my house on YOU." Jesus let John snuggle up to him. Jesus protected us all when he went to the cross. Jesus shouted from the rooftops, "I love you" when he rose from the grave so we could hang out with him forever. The way my husband leads is a reflection of those moments. And I love it.
No comments:
Post a Comment