This past weekend, one of my dearest friends came to visit me. She is the kind of friend that we can talk about anything and everything, and then it always gets brought back to Jesus. That is the kind of friend you should have in your life. Anyway, we were riding along in the car talking about life, when the subject of "Spiritual Leadership" came up. I got so fired up about the subject, that she asked me to write this blog post.
For the longest time, I bought into the idea that spiritual leadership had to look a certain way, especially when it came to my marriage. I would see these men, who were leaders in the church, and I expected that to be how my marriage looked. These were the men, who spoke on stage, lead many groups, pretty much over all aspects. When you watched they way they lead their families, you could see how they family functioned. Often times, I expected that they would pray together every day, read the Bible together, they do all of these "spiritual" things together and it was the man who started that.
That is not how my marriage works.
I was extremely discouraged for a bit, but that was before I realized that there is more than one way to lead your wife spiritually.
The church often says, "You need to be the man in the house. You need to lead your wife. ETC." but I feel they've fallen short on saying how you can do that, or encouraging men in the way they are already made to lead. And as a woman, I heard that, and only ever saw men leading in the one specific way. Jesus, in all His goodness, softened my heart and opened my eyes.
Zane is the exact spiritual leader this family needs.
The longer I am married to him, the more I realize how much he looks like Jesus, and wasn't Jesus the Ultimate leader? I would rather have my husband look like Jesus as a leader than what I expect a leader to look like formed from my own opinions.
He is a quiet man, but a strong man. He is wise, he is funny. He serves like no one I have ever met, and he doesn't do it for recognition, he does it because he truly cares for these people. I don't think people realize how much he actually does. He leads in the way he walks into whatever room I am in and say "Listen to how sarcastic Jesus is" and then proceeds to read a part of scripture he just encountered and saw Jesus as the human he was. He also leads in the way of getting up and going to work everyday. He provides for our tiny family. He leads in showing me grace and forgiveness. Like when I accidentally burn something or forget to call somebody or don't buy something he needs. He just wraps his arms around me and gives me unconditional grace. He is a leader by sending me a text that says, "I am proud of your tv career". It seems silly, but me doing something small like that is important to me, and he recognizes it and breathes encouragement into it. It's him seeing my strengths and encouraging me in them. It's him noticing that the trash needs to be taken out and so he does it. It's him hugging me when I have a bad day. It's him texting me saying, "just prayed for you." It's him texting me a simple "I love you."
We don't have specific times where we sit and pray together. And sometimes we might read the Bible together, but it's never out loud. We are both just hanging out with Jesus but in our own ways. We tried to do it like how I expected it to look and it was forced and really awkward. But now that I recognize that Zane leads the way that the Lord intended for him to lead and how the Lord leads, our marriage has flourished.
Jesus did pray, and he did preach, and he did have those moments. And they are good moments. But Jesus also looked at Peter and encouraged him to step out of the boat and to do something terrifying. Jesus looked at Peter and said, "I'm building my house on YOU." Jesus let John snuggle up to him. Jesus protected us all when he went to the cross. Jesus shouted from the rooftops, "I love you" when he rose from the grave so we could hang out with him forever. The way my husband leads is a reflection of those moments. And I love it.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Are You Available?
There is something so special about finding your niche.
Our church does this thing called D-groups, which is Discipleship groups. There is a leader and that leader has a group of people interested in learning more about Jesus. I have been wanting to lead one of these for about a year now but never really got around to signing up. After talking with Zane, we decided we wanted to lead a group of college students this summer. It was so exciting to find something we were both passionate about and we really wanted to get involved with our church! This seemed perfect for us.
About two or three days before the meet-up, where the leaders and the students would meet for the first time, we got emails explaining the process and giving us the names of the students we would be leading this summer! I was so excited to get my email with my two girls, immediately started praying for the summer, praying that they would experience Jesus in new ways. I was so excited! I then checked my email again, and there was an email apologizing to the men group leaders. Not enough guys signed up, therefore Zane didn't have any guys to lead this summer. That was a bit sad, we were looking forward to doing this together this summer, having students in our home, and loving on them. The email said that if the guy leaders wanted to come to the meet-up anyway, there may be a few show-ups who didn't give advance notice. So we decided Zane should go anyway. Even if no one showed up, Zane could talk to the guys in charge and it wouldn't be a big deal.
About twenty minutes into the meet-up, they split us up into our groups to get to know each other. Would you believe that Zane was the only guy to show up from the leader email saying not enough college guys could show up? Well he was, and you know what, exactly two guys showed up who had not given the advanced notice. All because Zane said, I'll be there, just in case, and now he has two guys he gets to teach this summer.
We decided to join our two groups, to see how it would work for the summer. Zane and I both have something to offer to these students. We are completely different, but we make a great team. I think this summer is going to be one for the books, because we maybe found our niche.
So, are you available? For those instances where it really is only just in case? I think there is something special about that. Making yourself available gives way for Jesus to use you. I absolutely believe in my husband and I know that these two young men will be forever changed by the wisdom and love my husband so freely gives. And I think Zane will learn something too. I already have.
Belle
Our church does this thing called D-groups, which is Discipleship groups. There is a leader and that leader has a group of people interested in learning more about Jesus. I have been wanting to lead one of these for about a year now but never really got around to signing up. After talking with Zane, we decided we wanted to lead a group of college students this summer. It was so exciting to find something we were both passionate about and we really wanted to get involved with our church! This seemed perfect for us.
About two or three days before the meet-up, where the leaders and the students would meet for the first time, we got emails explaining the process and giving us the names of the students we would be leading this summer! I was so excited to get my email with my two girls, immediately started praying for the summer, praying that they would experience Jesus in new ways. I was so excited! I then checked my email again, and there was an email apologizing to the men group leaders. Not enough guys signed up, therefore Zane didn't have any guys to lead this summer. That was a bit sad, we were looking forward to doing this together this summer, having students in our home, and loving on them. The email said that if the guy leaders wanted to come to the meet-up anyway, there may be a few show-ups who didn't give advance notice. So we decided Zane should go anyway. Even if no one showed up, Zane could talk to the guys in charge and it wouldn't be a big deal.
About twenty minutes into the meet-up, they split us up into our groups to get to know each other. Would you believe that Zane was the only guy to show up from the leader email saying not enough college guys could show up? Well he was, and you know what, exactly two guys showed up who had not given the advanced notice. All because Zane said, I'll be there, just in case, and now he has two guys he gets to teach this summer.
We decided to join our two groups, to see how it would work for the summer. Zane and I both have something to offer to these students. We are completely different, but we make a great team. I think this summer is going to be one for the books, because we maybe found our niche.
So, are you available? For those instances where it really is only just in case? I think there is something special about that. Making yourself available gives way for Jesus to use you. I absolutely believe in my husband and I know that these two young men will be forever changed by the wisdom and love my husband so freely gives. And I think Zane will learn something too. I already have.
Belle
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