Have you ever waited expectantly for something? Better yet, have you ever wanted something so bad and then had to wait for an answer?
That is my current season of life. Like it stinks. I finally got a place where I decided that Nursing School is what I wanted. And then I got to a place, while taking the test, I was okay if I didn't get into Nursing School, and even though I thought I wanted it, Jesus was still good if He said no. Now both of these things till ring true today. I still want to get into nursing school. I will also be okay if Jesus says no. It's just a difficult place now, because all I'm doing is waiting. I literally can do nothing right now to help my cause for nursing school. It's an interesting thing to experience, to be at a loss of control.
It's interesting, because what is Jesus trying to teach me? I think it has little to do with patience (even though that is a thing he is teaching me, because waiting is all about patience), but it has to do with this being out of my control. I have to constantly give my desires, thoughts, dreams, insecurities, everything to Jesus, because only HE controls the outcome of anything in my life. And that is soooooo comforting to me. It takes the stress out of this waiting game knowing that the Creator of the Universe holds my world in the palms of His hands!
So now, I just sit back and relax, expectant that Jesus still has so much more to teach me during this process and knowing no matter the outcome, he has planned and ordained it for me. While I may not understand whatever the outcome is or whatever process He decides to take me through, I know "His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts."
